You are not alone: the healing power of community and connection
You may be aware that I love Broadway musicals. And singing.
This weekend my son and I were listening to Ben Platt singing “You Will Be Found” (i.e. “You are Not Alone” – from Dear Evan Hansen).
And while I’m belting it out along with Ben, my son turns around and says with a bit of exasperation and a bit of a twinkle in his eye, “Mama, why are you crying at a SONG AGAIN?”
The truth is, when Ben Platt sings, I’m often moved to tears. And another truth is that I cry easily when music moves me (and I'm singing at full volume).
I laughed and said, “these are good tears -– just a good ol’ emotional release! And I’m also crying because this song’s message is one people SO need to hear, especially right now.”
The essential message is – “you are not alone.” A good message for these days – though it may not counter the actual feeling of solitude so many experience, whether from time to time or on a regular basis.
ONE COMMON THEME I HEAR
There are a multitude of themes and concerns that arise as people step into private healing work, a community healing retreat, or into a program, but if I were to identify ONE of the most consistent themes that comes through, it would be “I feel so alone in my (whatever the struggle is…).”
And if I were to identify ONE comment that comes through consistently after retreat or a group program, it would be, “I realized, as I sit in this group and hear what these other (amazing) humans are experiencing, that I’m actually not alone in my (whatever the experience is).”
This isn’t just a theme of 2020-2021, though it’s become highlighted in bigger ways since then.
So often, people who are doing amazing things in the world – taking care of patients or participants, doing international development or humanitarian work, parenting little humans in these wild times – you name the service, feel terribly alone in their experience of whatever is arising – anxiety, grief, relationship issues – you name the experience.
THE HEALING POWER OF COMMUNITY AND CONNECTION
Here’s the thing – when powerful people join together in conscious ways, in community, and learn that they are not the only ones thinking or experiencing these things, something lifts.
When compassionate people who care for many others are witnessed in their experience, some pressure valve releases.
When leaders, changemakers and caregivers speak the truth of what’s on their heart, instead of the thing they think they are should say, or the comment that makes them look strong and “together”, they experience greater well-being.
And when we come into collective and consciously orient ourselves toward healing and well-being…
when we come into spaces where we uplift ourselves and hold each other…
and when we shift toward more authentic living that allows us to be well…
we heal, ourselves and each other.
(And in so doing, we help those we care for and serve be uplifted, be authentic, and move toward healing as well.)
I know this because I’ve witnessed it many times over– powerful people, sitting together, speaking truth, holding loving space for each other and being energetically held in ways they don’t always allow (and that isn’t always easy to facilitate on Zoom).
And we also know this because the research shows that meaningful, positive social connection matters…
- to our physical and mental health,
- to our nervous systems (which influence our physical and mental health),
- to our sense of well-being,
- to our communities, and
- and to the planet.
“HOMEWORK” TO CULTIVATE CONNECTION
And for today, I invite you to take one step toward your improved well-being, improved mental health, improved physical health and a stronger nervous system.
I encourage you to create some meaningful social connection, whatever that looks like for you – here are a few ideas:
· Reach out to someone you care about – with a phone call or a visit, if that’s available to you. Tell them something on your heart.
· Ask for support from a trusted someone.
· Offer support to someone you care about.
· Write a letter to someone you care about. Send it in the mail – it’s SO special to receive handwritten anything these days!
· Get together with someone you care about – for a walk in nature, or a cup of tea.
· If you have someone you have a positive and safe connection with, hug a close loved one. Research shows that a 20 second hug is what releases the positive, healing chemicals, reducing the effects of stress and soothing the nervous system.
It’s longer than you think, and if you really tune in, you’ll be able to feel the shift! (My kiddo and I have been practicing this one. :))
NOTE: Try and connect outside of social media, though you can initiate there if that helps.
Because the world needs you well.
And whatever you do to help YOU be well, helps those you care for and serve be well, helps your community be well, and helps our planet be well.
With love and blessings,
Kelly