How to be with the contradiction, chaos and mystery (and a personal story)

I was in Washington Heights, the beautiful neighborhood of upper Manhattan that is still in many ways my Heart Home.

Descending the 6 floor zig-zag staircase, where you could look all the way down to the bottom floor, I was moving to the rhythm of the prayers of the 90ish year old Dominican woman on the 6th floor.

She was gazing down from the guardrail, watching me descend and praying over me, every step I took.

I’d just left her apartment, after interviewing her for a public health project I was working on, something about Medicaid recipients’ perspectives on care.

We’d said goodbye, after a lovely interview with heartfelt connection. She was deeply grateful to have someone just listen, and had said sweet blessings to me as we hugged and said “adiós”.

This was close to 20 years ago now.

And yet, I can still remember her voice chanting over me, energetically cloaking me in her blessings and prayer… that I be safe, that I be well, that I be protected.

I walked away feeling like I had been filled with and covered in blessings and serious energetic protection (way before the days I knew how to work with energetic protection…).

And all of that for sitting with openhearted presence, listening to the story of a humble Dominican woman living alone in poverty in a rent controlled apartment in NYC.

For some reason, this memory of walking down those 6 flights of stairs as I heard the sound of her voice has been showing up in recent weeks, whispering to me of this experience.

Multiple times I have sat down to share an update, a newsletter, something intended to inspire, thinking I’m blocked… and then she appears again.

When this happens, it feels like a story that wants to be told.

So I bring the story of her as my offering to you today, in hopes that it touches something in you.

As I feel into the world opening up in some places, there is the ease – and in some cases, anxiety – that opening up brings. Then I witness lockdown and rising up where I have loved ones in India and Latin America…

We are in a place and period of opposites, of contradictions, of opening up and locking down, of justice achieved in one place and the injustice that repeats in another, peace found in one place and violence re-emerging elsewhere… all of the places within and around us that present in a state of contradiction, chaos and mystery.

As I reflect on all of this, I deepen into gratitude…

• for simple and profound moments of connection with strangers around the world over the years.

• for the deepening in and learning new ways to be in connection with loved ones in these times of shutdown and slowing down.

• for the incredible group of women in my new THRIVE program doing extraordinary healing and shedding of old ways that don’t serve them so that they can BE differently in the world.

If you’re moved to take some space to reflect in stillness (with the good intention of soothing your nervous system), I invite you to…

• think of a time you’ve connected with someone and they gave back to you blessings/ life force /love, more than you might ever have imagined.

• reflect on a time where you’ve been in stillness with someone (maybe even yourself) and experienced powerful connection in that space of no words.

May we move forward and create anew – whether we are opening up or locking down – with the intention of deep presence, powerful listening, and blessing each other in our comings and goings.

And wherever you are, may you be safe, may you be well, may you be protected...

The world needs you well.

Always with love,

Kelly

p.s. I’d love to hear from you. Share your story of connection, tell me your reflection of a long ago encounter. I’d love to know what landed for you.