The secret behind your self-sabotage (probably not what you think)
Sometimes what looks like procrastination or self-sabotage… is actually a brilliant form of protection.
Inside our Roots of Resilience Collective, we start with this truth:
Safety is the foundation for everything.
Not the idea of safety.
The experience of it. In your body.
And for many of us, that experience is unfamiliar.
We were taught to push through, perform, overachieve, overgive.
To disconnect from our bodies when they felt too much.
To override discomfort instead of listening to it.
But when your nervous system doesn’t feel safe – even if your life appears to be just fine – you might notice yourself:
- Hesitating to speak up
- Feeling paralyzed right as you’re about to take a big step toward something you care about deeply
- Cycling through overworking, overgiving, overthinking… then crashing.
- Disconnecting from your body, because being in it feels too hard.
This is what we’re gently reclaiming inside our Roots of Resilience Collective.
Not through pushing – but through presence.
Not through efforting – but through growing capacity.
Roots Member Story
Recently, one of our brilliant Roots Beta members shared this:
“I freeze when something feels really important. I wait, I overthink, I procrastinate - and then I self-sabotage. I have these dreams, these things I care so much about. But when it’s time to act, I just… can’t. I go numb. Then I blame myself.”
She’s not alone.
Many in our Roots Collective nodded with recognition, or shared their own version of a self-sabotaging pattern.
Here’s what we explored together:
- It’s not laziness.
- It’s not a motivation issue.
- She's not bad, or wrong.
It’s her nervous system response.
Her body didn’t feel safe stepping into something big.
So it shut down forward movement - to protect her.
A brilliant, protective, long-held pattern doing exactly what our bodies and nervous systems are designed to do… keep us safe.
It wasn’t until we slowed down… listened… and honored those internal cues with care and openness, that the truth of these patterns could emerge:
"Not yet. Not safe."
Even though she deeply longed to move forward.
Now, she - and our other Roots members - are working on building safety from the inside out.
Unwinding the patterns that have long protected – but have also held them back.
They're now taking small, powerful steps forward.
Not through forcing themselves to, but because their systems are finally learning to say, "Yes," with safety.
We:
- slow down to listen and attune to the body’s cues.
- understand and work with fear, resistance and old protection patterns.
- create external and internal conditions for more safety.
- grow capacity, one step at a time.
Because the body (and brain) can’t move forward when threatened.
But they can move when the experience of safety is on board.
This is the healing that's happening inside our Roots of Resilience Collective.
You Who Care So Much
Let’s be honest:
These times we’re living in are wildly activating.
There’s pressure. Uncertainty. Urgency. Instability. So many unknowns.
And for you who care so much – who are holding dreams and visions for something more just, more connected, more sacred, that's woven into your purpose, your people, the planet – of course you want to move forward.
And it can feel urgent to move forward.
But if your system isn’t on board – if it’s still holding fear, resistance, grief, or a silent “not yet...”
You might find yourself stalling, or self-sabotaging.
And then blaming yourself for it.
What if you and your pattern aren’t the problem?
And what might become possible if your body felt safe enough to say yes?
Join the Waitlist
✨ This is a small taste of some of the subtle but powerful work we're doing inside Roots of Resilience.
We officially open doors soon – and the waitlist is open right now.
If this speaks to you, I’d love for you to be part of this Roots Collective.
Click below to be the first to know when doors open:
Your body is always listening. The way you tend to it and come into relationship with it matters.
The more safety you build inside yourself, the more capacity you have to meet whatever life brings.
