I felt like my body just wasn't made for this world
Have you had the experience of struggling with health, doing all the right things, trying so hard to feel better, but not getting where you want to be?
You're working hard, eating all the right things, exercising, meditating, doing as the doctor says, taking your supplements, and doing things you love with people you love.
And yet, you’re still struggling with physical pain, unexplained medical issues, or anxiety that just won't retreat?
Client Story
A couple of weeks ago in my Befriend your Body program, we dove into the module exploring how our bodies keep the score.
This is one of my favorite teaching pieces, as we take a good look at how our bodies find a way to create the boundaries we’ve not been able to, how our bodies say “no” when we’ve been unable to, how what is showing up in our inner world that’s unspoken or unexpressed, gets expressed through our bodies.
One of my beloved and amazing participants in my Befriend Your Body program spoke of what has shifted for her since joining.
“This has been transformational.
All these years, I thought my body just wasn’t made for this world, that it was failing me.
And instead, it was speaking to me in the only way it could, telling me exactly what I needed.
When we began, I’d been experiencing anxiety for 15 years. I’d done a lot of work on the anxiety, primarily therapy.
I had lots of tools - meditation, yoga, running, and other things. The tools absolutely helped - they calmed the symptoms a bit.
But I was still struggling and couldn’t wrap my brain around why I was doing all the right things, yet still experiencing anxiety, not feeling happy, and having pain in my body.
I didn’t realize how the survival stress of so many of my lived experiences was stuck in my body, and how that stuckness was acting like a damper on feelings of happiness and joy. It was keeping me from beautifully experiencing life on the inside.
And now, after doing this work, for the first time that I can remember, I am feeling joy!
I had dismissed (my body) so much, and yet it was being my best friend. I'm now understanding the wisdom it has to share with me and the rhythms it's asking for. And I'm listening to them.
I am feeling so much more love and care for it now. And it's changed everything."
I'm SO celebrating her and all that's shifted through this practice of befriending her body!
Photo courtesy of Mi Pham of Unsplash
This is possible.
THIS is what's possible when you learn to befriend your body – partnering with it to learn to BE in the world in a different way.
Together we peel back the layers, bit by bit (establishing safety), learn to remove that damper pedal (that's working to keep you safe), and establish new patterns of relating to your body (and mind and heart).
Our bodies keep the score - and it's possible to change the score.
If you’re finding yourself in this place, and wondering if your body just isn't for this world, please know, this is not your fault.
The body keeping the score is another one of those beautiful and well-intentioned functions of our bodies (bless these bodies!), helping us to make our way in the world, keeping us safe, and giving us the signals for how to navigate the world and heal some old and unhelpful patterns.
Yet, most of us have learned to silence the signals and shut them down, instead of learning to work with them.
Good news?
There are ways to shift the score.
You can create new patterns.
You can learn new ways of walking, working, and healing in the world.
You can partner well with your body.
It’s not a magic fix, and sometimes it takes some tweaking, time and practice. (It always takes practice.)
But our bodies are resilient and beautiful, and capable of amazing healing.
The world needs you well.
As always, I remind you of the ripple.
To lead and make an impact, to provide high-quality services, to make change we care about, to parent or caregive well, and to see our way forward - our world needs us well.
As humans in this world right now, especially in these unsettled times, and especially if you are engaging with other humans, the news, and being planet-aware, befriending your body might feel like an extra thing you just don't have time and space for.
Or it might not feel like it should be a priority for you.
Not only does your body need you well... the world needs you well.
I work with amazing changemakers who have struggled through the physical and mental-emotional challenges, and when they shift into working in partnership with the bodies, their work and their contributions, the changemaking and caregiving, become so much more easeful, potent, and effective.
It’s essential to learn the patterns, to listen to the body, and to learn new ways.
Please take good care of your beautiful body, mind, and heart in these times, so you can BE well and DO well.
The world needs you well.
With love and many blessings,
Kelly
P.S. By the way, Gabor Mate wrote the book, "When the Body Says No." When I found it, I was like, wow, I might have written a version of this book (minus the M.D.). It explains a whole lot of what had happened in my health journey years earlier, and what I saw happening with colleagues and friends. This concept remains a big part of my motivation to support others in their healing journeys.
P.S.1. If you know a changemaker, leader, health professional, conscious entrepreneur, teacher or caregiver who needs this message, so they can feel less alone and more supported in befriending their body, please share this email and ask them to sign up for my love notes - thanks so much for helping to spread the word!
P.S.2. If you're ready to make some real change (inside and out), and want support in befriending your body and nervous system, so you can get out of the stuck and frozen place, email me and let's connect to see if it's a fit to work together privately or in my next Befriend Your Body Program.
Kelly Lubeck, MPH, is passionate about weaving together her deep commitment to changemaking, serving the world, and conscious parenting, with her passion for deep, soul-level coaching, teaching, and healing work (body, mind, heart, and spirit).
She’s spent over 25 years doing service-based work in the US and around the world. The last 16 years have been dedicated to developing and delivering services, programs and retreats for individuals, groups, and organizations, to help changemakers and leaders be well as they help the world to be well.
She earned her Master’s in Public Health from Columbia University, is a Registered Yoga Teacher, and earned certifications from the Light Body School, Sacred Depths coaching program, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
She's studied multiple healing modalities to support whole-person healing, from ancient shamanic healing practices to modern training in neuroscience and nervous system regulation (and many things in between), all of which she integrates into her work to help people heal, lead, parent and BE well.