Leaning into Stability and Predictability
Your brain and nervous system love stability and predictability.
They crave what's boring and predictable, and aren’t interested in you making change because change falls in the category of unsafe.
So even when you know you want to make a big breakthrough in your health or your vision, when you know you’re ready to step into a role with greater leadership, when you’re passionate about launching a new changemaking vision or business into the world -- your brain will often say "no".
And if it doesn’t say "no" in the moment, sometimes that sneaky saboteur can come in and make doing the new things messy, extra hard and complicated, or even disastrous.
Have you ever experienced that?
You’re finally ready to do a big thing, and then you get sick. Or lose your voice. Or everything seems to fall apart on the home front. Or you have a new crisis to contend with that takes all of your attention.
These primal parts of the brain and nervous system aren’t sure if they will survive change, so they work really hard to keep things the same.
What does that mean?
It means that, in order to make change, you've got to create ways to experience safety in your body and brain, and create some stability and predictability for that nervous system to lean into while you’re making change.
(You have to teach the nervous system to tolerate the shifts by growing your capacity for change.)
One way to do this is to create greater stability and predictability in your everyday, to put your focus on what’s normal and regular and predictable, so that your nervous system can happily focus on where it feels safe.
It's that PRACTICE piece I spoke of last week.
This grows your capacity for expansion, healing and change.
This can become a resilience-building power tool.
This technique is one of my favorite practices that I use – every single day.
And it’s one of my favorites to share with those I work with – privately or in groups.
Clients and students often tell me that it’s the thing that brings them immediately into a state of calm and ease, where they can then access their intellect, their wisdom about next steps, their inner guidance, in a way that’s just nearly impossible if you’re feeling dysregulated and activated in your nervous system.
With practice, it can become a resilience building power tool.
Why stable and predictable matter when the world feels upside down.
In addition to whatever is happening on the inside of you, when the world is feeling less than stable and predictable (and these days, when is it not?), change can feel even more unsettling.
Your brain and nervous system might be reaching for stability as you feel the impact of global events on others struggling across the ocean, or the pains of climate change, or a the hardships facing a dear person in your community.
So it might resist change and healing even more than usual.
Know this is totally normal.
And when you’re feeling it, I invite you to do this very simple practice – for when we find stability and predictability outside of us, we can borrow it from outside of us to help find that within us.
I made this audio recording – a gift for you – if you’d like to be guided in doing this. This simple practice takes less than 10 minutes.
Click here for your Gift of Stability and Predictability
Your impact grows when you lean into stable and predictable.
When you lead from that place of stable and predictable, your capacity to make positive change grows.
Your vision can come to life.
Your leadership makes a bigger impact.
You can use your voice for good.
You can make change from a regulated, stable, predictable place. And wow, does the world need that.
The world needs you well.
For you being well helps to change the world.
Thank you for all you do and are.
With love and many blessings,
Kelly
P.S. Please know that sometimes these practices take time to work. It may be that this isn't immediately calming and ease-producing initially. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, or that it doesn’t work for you. It may simply be that your nervous system is telling you it’s got some extra stored survival stress on board and needs some practice coming into a state where predictable and stable are available to you.
It may also be that the news has you stirred up, or life is feeling like a lot, and what you need in this moment is some movement or a talk with a friend.
Please listen to what your body and nervous system need.
And try again, in another moment, and see how it goes.
As always, I'd love to hear from you!