What the crossing guard has to do with your nervous system

Last week I was taking my morning walk after dropping my son at school. I was aware that my nervous system needed a little extra care that morning, as I reflected on how I'd taken a deeper dive than usual into the news the night before.

I was feeling the impact of so much up in our world, wanting to stay connected to what's happening and also feeling the gravity of it all.

So I went outside to ground, breathe fresh air, move my body and be in the sunshine.

I chose the route that goes by the elementary school, as it was arrival time and hearing the chattering of children as they walk by always delights me.

I passed by the first crossing guard, a kindhearted older man who I imagine is a neighbor who does this because it keeps him engaged and lets him delight in the children, too.

He greeted me, as always, with a friendly hello and “have a good day.”

Three blocks later, I passed by the second crossing guard, a middle-aged, enthusiastic Latino man with completely different energy.

As always, he greets me with an enormous smile by shouting across the street to me in Spanish, “you’re doing your exercise!”

I shout back to him, “yes, good morning!” and we both wave to each other and shout our wishes to respectively have a “buen dia.”

Stability and Predictability

And as I continue on my walk, I reflect on the effects of stability and predictability.

I know that that at around that time, every weekday, I can walk that route and find one crossing guard right in front of the elementary school, and the next one right before the park.

I know how they will greet me. I know that there will be a friendly exchange.

I know I’ll walk by feeling a little more blessed for the brief encounters, and that I’ll offer the blessing to each of them.

I know that I’ll have the delight of children passing by and making noise that lights up my heart.

I also register that our world still has a place for crossing guards – a signal that we as a collective care to keep our children safe as they cross the road.

This knowing offers stability and predictability, which are helpful tools to lean into for nervous system care.

photo courtesy of Katy Yanda

What does it look like for you?

When the world feels a bit off, when the outer environment spins around us (or our inner environment is spinning), we can settle our systems by leaning into stability and predictability.

Are you finding yourself glued to the news and feeling like you're checking it 24/7 (or if you're not checking it, feeling like it's with you 24/7)?

Are you feeling the pain of the world in a way that activates your nervous system and has you in fight, flight, or freeze?

I want to offer that - if this is the case - you are not alone, nor is this abnormal. You're having understandable responses to extraordinary circumstances.

When we lean into (or borrow from) stability and predictability, it allows us to register safety in our internal systems and operate from that place.

And operating from this place allows us to ripple out into the collective stability and predictability.

And the more of us who ripple that out, the more we create stability and predictability in our world.

Let's Practice! (3 minutes)

Stand with your feet shoulder’s distance apart, arms by your side.

Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose, and out through your mouth.

Look at your feet.

Look at what they are standing on.

Acknowledge this solid ground. .

Take a seat.

Feel the seat beneath you.

Touch it. Notice what it feels like. Is it soft? Hard? Lumpy? Smooth?

Acknowledge you’re held in this seat.

Look around the space you’re in.

Notice what’s around you – the doors, windows, walls – the container you’re in.

Look out the window and see what’s out there. A tree? A mountain? A building?

Notice what is stable and predictable out there, beyond the space you’re in.

Now close your eyes and notice your heartbeat.

It beats without you having to DO anything.

Next, notice your breath.

You can adjust and shift your breath, but it keeps going without you having to DO anything.

Lean into this stability and predictability.

Take 3 deep breaths.

And from that place, I invite you to go do whatever needs doing.

I know, this sounds SO simple. But practicing this 3 minutes a day - or a couple of times a day once you get the hang of it - can be supportive of your nervous system, your well being, and the world.

What is it for you?

One of the simplest and easiest ways to train your nervous system to recognize safety (hoping you are safe right now, of course – and if not, please reach out for help) is by leaning into what is stable and predictable.

I'd love to hear from you - what feels stable and predictable right now?

It might be the earth. It might be four walls. It might be the tree out your window. It might be your own heartbeat.

And whatever you do, however you show up for others, please find the steadiness in yourself first, and then show up for the rest of the world.

The world needs you well.

With love and many blessings,

Kelly